Snowman never comes to life

Michael Fassbender in The Snowman. Image courtesy Universal Pictures.

The Snowman is an awful film on just about every level, but it masks its incompetence by being largely boring and dull. It’s just a way of wasting two hours of one's existence, watching poor Michael Fassbender mope around a very snowy Oslo searching for one of the least interesting serial killers in cinema history. It's a movie that just happens, it exists and it ends with no measurable effect on the viewer's outlook on life.

A lot of strange decisions were conjured to create The Snowman. Making the movie heavily centered around the titular beings of ice, snow, coal, carrots, and leftover winter clothing is among the more notable ones. The snowmen in this movie are little tokens left by the serial killer after he's abducted or murdered someone, designed to be ominous and foreboding. Except, well, snowmen don't really work as images of horror. They're beings of snow that just stand around waiting to melt, their horror derived more out of an existential terror than a more primal fright. Perhaps a field of snowmen could be frightening, a phalanx of creatures built of ice and snow with mean dark eyes and coal frowns… although just typing that sentence still makes them sound silly. If an army of snowmen can't produce any sense of fear, a single snowman won't succeed in that task.

So why does the killer design these snowmen in the first place? It's revealed in an opening sequence as a result of a traumatic childhood moment. It's not a competently executed sequence, with a poorly executed twist with no real motivation provided to the viewer. And that's not the only moment in which The Snowmen opts to keep what should be important information away from the viewers. Suspects are tossed out and in not because of any real detective work from Fassbender (playing a detective named Harry Hole) and his partner (played by Rebecca Ferguson). Rather, there's some unseen internal logic that at one moment makes J.K. Simmons a suspect before moving on to some other bloke until the real killer is revealed. There's also an undercooked subplot about Fassbender's ex (Charlotte Gainsbourg), along with unnecessary backstory involving Val Kilmer that would tie in cleaner with Ferguson's story if the movie had a stronger narrative connection. The Snowman is really more of a series of plot holes cobbled together into a thin story, which isn’t surprising considering around 15-percent of the script wasn’t actually shot, per director Tomas Alfredson.

Hypothetically the additional amount of footage would have given The Snowman more time to provide those clues so the audience can parse out the killer’s identity. Not that it's all that difficult to figure it out, but that isn't because of any clues or hints provided by the filmmakers. Rather, the resolution comes from knowledge of the genre that makes the whole reveal obvious; the movie itself just says it’s this guy without any legitimate clues, let alone any logic behind it. A clever movie can take advantage of audience knowledge and use it against viewers, but this movie is nowhere near clever enough to pull off such a feat. The killer is the killer, and the killer is disposed of with a lame Deus ex machina because the filmmakers opted not to make it properly climactic or thrilling. It just sort of ends, because everything has to end at some point and the movie couldn't figure out a better way of getting away from itself.

Review: One out of Five Stars

Click here to see the trailer.

Rating: R

Run time: 119 minutes

Genre: Crime

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Target audience: Criminal procedural fans and people who like snowmen.

Take the whole family?: It gets graphic enough to bother kids, so make it a date night if you decide to go out...

Theater or Netflix?: Or just don't go out at all to see it.

Does this movie do anything right?: By name the cast is OK. Michael Fassbender, Charlotte Gainsbourg, and J.K. Simmons all have strong acting chops, and Val Kilmer has a couple of great performances under his belt from like 25 years ago. Figures that this movie couldn't do anything with the cast it had.

Watch this instead?: Insomnia does a lot of what The Snowman tries to do, but way, way better. There's also the animated Snowman movie from the 1980s that is just splendid.

Florida Project is sad, sweet, and fun

Christopher Rivera and Brooklynn Prince in The Florida Project. Image courtesy A24

Fantasy in The Florida Project is serves as a vital component for existence and a dangerous facade. For 6-year-old Moonee (Brooklynn Prince) and her friends Jancey (Valeria Cotto) and Scooty (Christopher Rivera) the illusion granted by childhood masks the reality of the hopelessness of their circumstances. They survive and thrive because they can't comprehend the scale of their lives, but the realities of what their world is really like resides just above their heads, controlled by adults who can't quite seem to understand the gravity of their responsibilities. Few characters in this movie have their heads above the sand.

The marvelous The Florida Project skirts the fine line between fantasy and reality throughout, juxtaposing the children's antics and shenanigans – some playful, others far more reckless – against the hardship of their existence. It’s the little moments of innocence that make this movie, in effect a series of escapades capturing a fateful summer for Moonee and friends. as fun and joyful as it is. It’s great to watch them banter as they try to con people out of money to buy ice cream cones or share jelly sandwiches while sitting on a fallen tree. One of the more memorable scenes is a simple birthday celebration for Jancey where Moonee and Moonee's mother Halley (Bria Vinaite) tell Jancey that the fireworks are going off to celebrate her birthday. It's a lovely, perfect little moment of escapism for Jancey, a small moment of joyful solipsism for a child who doesn’t get those enough.

Setting the film as a series of short adventures allows for an easier contrast between those bits of joy and the starkness of their reality. They are incredibly poor, barely able to pay the rent to live in rundown hotels tainted by a variety of criminal activities. Their innocence is really the only thing that shields Moonee, Jancey and Scooty from the realization of their plight and the possible dangers associated with living in a hotel with little adult supervision save hotel manager Bobby (a terrific Willem Dafoe). For most of The Florida Project the kids are on their own hiding about in the parking lot, underneath staircases, or out in the middle of possibly alligator-infested lands. That no physical harm comes to any of them is a testament to luck and Bobby keeping a really, really good eye on them.

They are effectively latchkey children, although The Florida Project is director Sean Baker and his co-writer Chris Bergoch avoid placing blame on the parents for the lack of oversight. Scooter's mother Ashley (Mela Murder) spends most of her time working as a waitress in a nearby diner, trying to earn enough to afford the hotel's weekly rent. Jancey is cared for by her grandmother (Josie Olivo) who does about as well as she can to offer a stable home. Halley is the wildcard, a young woman with little regard for authority and a free-spirited nature inherited by her daughter. Her parenting skills include little discipline and a less than healthy diet for her and her daughter, but she is not depicted as a bad mother. Rather, she's simply out of her element, clearly unsure of how to raise a child aside from offering love and any amount of support she can give. Halley is living in her own dreamworld, although when reality eventually does hit it strikes very, very hard.

It’s not like this movie gives Moonee and company a lot of options either. They live a stone’s throw away from Disney World and the manufactured wonderment it has to offer. The only thing worse than ersatz fantasy is being surrounded by bootleg versions of that false fantasy, the outlet shops and Orlando shops that promise “real” Disney items. They even live in a hotel called The Magic Castle, a place that is about as far away from the Magic Kingdom as it sounds. They’re stuck living in a place that pales in comparison to a better version that promises a false fantastical experience, a simulacrum of a profitable simulacrum. So it makes sense then for The Florida Project to conclude with wish fulfillment. In this movie, hiding in dreams remains the best tactic even as reality comes crashing down around you.

Review: Four and a half out of Five Stars

Click here to see the trailer.

Rating: R

Run time: 115 minutes

Genre: Drama

Ask Away

Target audience: Indie movie lovers and people interested in movies about people who are down and out.

Take the whole family?: Most of the more adult aspects to this movie are hinted at, so the rating is a little harsh. Teenage and up are fine with this.

Theater or Netflix?: This is a great little film, so it’s totally worth a theater trip if it is screening near you.

How great is Willem Dafoe?: Pretty wonderful. Dafoe gives adds charm and decency to a character that could have across as gruff and stern without the actor’s touch. Dafoe makes it clear his character has accepted his lot and life and does the best he can to accept what he has.

Watch this as well?: The 400 Blows and The Spirit of the Beehive have darker overtones than this movie, but they share the same concept of childhood as an escape from misery. For a more recent option, check out Beasts of the Southern Wild